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Jehovah's Witness

Saturday morning the weather was too bad to play golf. I was bored with nothing to do.

Suddenly there was a knock on the door.
I opened it to find a young, well-dressed man standing there who said: "Hello, sir, I'm a Jehovah's Witness."

So I said, "Come in and sit down."

I offered him a fresh cup of coffee and asked, "What do you want to talk about?"

He said, "Beats the shxx out of me. Nobody's ever let me in before."


Walmart
 

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Re: Today's Humor

Jehovah's Witness

Saturday morning the weather was too bad to play golf. I was bored with nothing to do.

Suddenly there was a knock on the door.
I opened it to find a young, well-dressed man standing there who said: "Hello, sir, I'm a Jehovah's Witness."

So I said, "Come in and sit down."

I offered him a fresh cup of coffee and asked, "What do you want to talk about?"

He said, "Beats the shxx out of me. Nobody's ever let me in before."
Now THAT is Funny!.....for sure!
 

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Re: Today's Humor

Awesome!!
 

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Supposedly there are only 140 of them allowed into their heaven. Makes you wonder why they go door to door.
 

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Re: Today's Humor

thanks for the laughs Poodles- not sure which is better, the Witness or the Walmart bit? BOTH cracked me up.
 

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Discussion Starter #7
Re: Today's Humor

Goose
We Need A Todays Humor Page.. I Can't Edit Mine Or I Would Put "Todays Humor. Add Yours"
 

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Re: Today's Humor

There was once a trans pacific flight going from La to Tokyo. About midway thru the flight there is this loud bang and smoke starts pouring out of one of the engines.

The captain comes on the intercom and announces that "Ladies and Gentlemen we have calculated that even with tossing all the luggage and excess items we will be 400 pounds too heavy to make it to safety. What we are asking is for three volunteers to make the ultimate sacrifice and jump out of the plane.

After thinking it over a bit a English gentleman gets up opens the door, yells God Save the Queen and jumps out.

Soon after a Frenchman get up and yells, Viva Le France, and jumps out.

There being no others, the captain comes on the intercom and announces Ladies and Gentleman we still are a bit overweight and need one more volunteer.

Just after a big ol burly Texan gets up and grabs a mexican, tosses him out and yells Remember the Alamo.
 

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Lolol
 

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LOL LOL LOL hillbilly!
 

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Discussion Starter #11
Re: Today's Humor

Cat Found Today
 

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^^^They forgot to mention the rabies infection!!
 

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Re: Today's Humor

Goose
We Need A Todays Humor Page.. I Can't Edit Mine Or I Would Put "Todays Humor. Add Yours"
Fixed your title for you.
 

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Discussion Starter #15
Postman

One Monday morning Shane the postman was riding through the neighbourhood on his usual route, delivering the mail.

As he approached one of the homes he noticed that both cars were still in the driveway.

His wonder was cut short by David, the homeowner, coming out with a load of empty beer, wine and spirit bottles for the recycling bin.

'Wow David, looks like you guys had one hell of a party last night,' the Postman commented.

David, in obvious pain, replied, 'Actually we had it Saturday night. This is the first time I have felt like moving since 4:00 o'clock Sunday morning .We had about 15 couples from around the neighbourhood over for some weekend fun and it got a bit wild. We all got so drunk around midnight that we started playing WHO AM I?'

The Postman thought for a moment and said, 'How do you play WHO AM I?'

Well, all the guys go in the bedroom and come out one at a time covered with a sheet with only the 'family jewels' showing through a hole in the sheet. Then the women try to guess who it is..'

The postman laughed and said, 'Sounds like fun, I'm sorry I missed it.'

'Probably a good thing you did,' David responded, 'Your name came up 7 times.'
 

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Now THAT was hilarious!:rofl:
 

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A LESSON IN GOVERNMENT

A teacher was teaching her second grade class about the government, so for homework that one day, she told her her students to ask their parents what the government is.
When Little Johnny got home that day, he went up to his dad and ask his what the government was.
His dad thought for a while and answered, ''Look at it this way: I'm the president, your mom is Congress, your maid is the work force, you are the people and your baby brother is the future.''
''I still don't get it'' responded the Little Johnny.
''Why don't you sleep on it then? Maybe you'll understand it better,'' said the dad.
''Okay then...good night'' said Little Jonny went off to bed. In the middle of the night, Little Johnny was awakened by his baby brother's crying. He went to his baby brother's crib and found that his baby brother had taken a crap in his diaper. So Little Johnny went to his parent's room to get help. When he got to his parent's bedroom, he looked through the keyhole to check if his parents were asleep. Through the keyhole he saw his mom loudly snoring, but his dad wasn't there. So he went to the maid's room. When he looked through the maid's room keyhole, he saw his dad having sex with his maid. Little Johnny was surprised, but then he just realized something and thinks aloud, ''OH!! Now I understand the government! The President is screwing the work force, Congress is fast asleep, nobody cares about the people, and the future is full of s**t!''
 

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^^^ nice one! would be even funnier if it were not true!!:rofl:
 
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